By the Way, Marquis is Gone
Jim Hendry has been suddenly busy this offseason, as today he finally shipped Jason Marquis to the Colorado Rockies for Luis Vizcaino (thanks to Jon for the tip). There’s no link, but the Cubs e-mailed...
View ArticleSweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “See You at Shitty O’Kea’s” Edition
Let the games begin. The Cubs Convention is in town, which means tonight is the night you dorks congregate at Shitty O’Kea’s. And that means I have to hide in my room with a pizza, a bottle of Jack,...
View ArticleI Am Bored to Tears by Spring Training
I don’t know what it is, but I have absolutely no interest in Spring Training this season. Maybe it’s the fact that there are basically only two position “battles” going on this spring, one of which...
View ArticleThe Muskbox is Shorter than Ryan Theriot
For some reason, the Muskbox is mercifully short this week. Maybe Care Bear had something better to do. Like train her flying monkeys to attack that bitch from Kansas. Away we go. I haven’t been able...
View ArticleThe Muskbox is Still Explaining How It Got Its Name
How long has the Muskbag been back in Muskbox form? A couple of months? Why is this still at the top of every single one? The mailbag is back, but it’s now the Inbox… Are there people out there so...
View ArticleYour 2009 Cubs Drinking Game
Opening Day is finally here. Since you’re all jobless losers, I assume you’re going to be out drinking and watching the game tonight. And what’s more fun than watching baseball and drinking? Why,...
View ArticlePower Rankings
Phil Rogers is out of his goddamn mind. In his first Power Rankings of the season, he ranks Shea Stadium’s big apple as #7. Even MetsMan1980 knows that the apple is at best a fifteen seed. Rogers also...
View ArticleYou Can’t Hide the Muskbox
Last week, the Muskbox came out on Thursday, presumably because Carrie knows that Fridays at HJE are Sweet Uncle Lou’s time to shine. But you can’t hide the Muskbox from me, Carrie. Especially since...
View ArticleThe Muskbox Gets Clutch
You can just imagine my jubilation when I read the title to this week’s Muskbox. “How Clutch is Theriot?” the Muskbox inquired. “THIS MANY!” Theriot responded, holding up three fingers on his right...
View ArticleThe Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #2: Randy Johnson “of a BITCH”
Business in front, party in the back, business in the undershirt, party in the overshirt, FUCKING MUSTACHE!!!The choice between the number one and the number two Cub Killer of My Time was a difficult...
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